nt again.

i've experienced few times of losing a friend.
i hate this kind of feeling very much.
it tears my heart apart.
it broke my glass-made heart.
that's why i truly appreciate everyone around me.
i keep my sincerity and faithfulness with them.
i love my friends a lot.

i emo-ed for these few days.
because i can feel we're getting apart and apart.
we are not having never-end topics anymore.
not having heart-to-heart talk anymore.
i feel really bad for that.
i know,something has changed.
i miss the moments when we get excited whenever we got a chance to have lunch together.
i miss the moments when we care about each other.

something has changed.
it's part of my fault.
i seldom chat with you since form 6.
due to different classes and tuitions.
i just couldn't accept the fact that you've found your own world.
a place where you could easily fit in yourself with anyone.
i'm the who is selfish.
thinking of owning you for the rest of my life as my very best friend.
i should feel happy for you instead.
i know,i'm stubborn.
i just cant get over it so easily.
i tried to act cool and calm these few days
and even comfort who is also having a bad mood.
i smiled.and i found i was just faking a smile.
i was pretending it doesn't bear my mind.
i was thinking i'm the one who is over sensitive.
it's supposed to be a trivial matter but it triggers my mind a lot now.

von said that everyone moves on.
there's no point circling at something that has passed.
i agree,and i know i should feel happy for you.
i'm still feeling bad though.
but i'm trying very hard to accept the fact slowly
that everyone and everything has changed.
there's nothing will stay the same forever.
it's just a part of growing.
i shouldn't be too persistent about this.
a lot of people pass by and leave something in your diary of life.
but you'll get to move on.
you will flip through the chapters
and find your own life one day.
and this is life.
nothing will stay the same forever.

i'm trying to wish you to be glad of having a new life.
it's just that i need sometime.

give me sometime.

and i wish you're happy 

with your new life sincerely.

* i hope i wasn't making it worse with this post.
   it's how i'm feeling right now.
   i'm not blaming anyone or being too pessimistic.
   just that.i'm too fragile with this.